Fountain’s Run Dry

Kristen Bell rings flat as Beth, a girl-next-door-Guggenheim-museum-art-curator who fulfills a curse when she takes five coins from Rome’s fountain of love.

During a 48-hour Italian visit for her sister’s sudden wedding, Beth meets the accident prone Nick (Josh Duhamel), who happens to also live in New York. Beth’s coins attract the ongoing romantic interest of the men whose coins she filched. Will Arnett, Jon Heder, Dax Shepard, and Danny DeVito work to varying levels of success as the less-than-winning hopefuls at Beth’s threshold.

DeVito fares best as a sausage company founder with genuine feelings for Beth. Duhamel carries his character’s romantic duties with workmanlike effectiveness that helps camouflage his utter lack of chemistry with Bell, who comes off like a shrew.

The film has no interconnectedness. It’s one slapstick gag to another pratfall. The dialogue isn’t funny, and the filmmakers know nothing about comic timing. Has no one heard of Mel Brooks? Insult to injury—only 5 percent of the movie even takes place in Rome.

Rated PG-13. Running time 91 mins. Written by David Diamond and David Weissman. Directed by Mark Steven Johnson. Starring Kristen Bell, Josh Duhamel, Anjelica Huston. 

Cole Smithey is “the smartest film critic in the world.” Visit his website at

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