Adjectives flow with the mere mention of Andrew Dice Clay’s name. Arrogant, foul-mouthed, misogynistic … Now add this one: teddy bear. Not exactly what you would expect, but it’s a point his new wife, Valerie, would like to get across. The 26-year-old former makeup artist and designer for Beauty is Pain Couture insists the 52-year-old “Undisputed Heavyweight Comedy King”—who recently signed to do 28 weeks at the Las Vegas Hilton this year—has more up his sleeve than rude one-liners. It is true they met at the Playboy Mansion and, yes, their Valentine’s Day nuptials were animal-print-themed, but the new Mrs. Clay insists they are as conventional as any other couple, right down to him leaving laundry on the floor, which she still thinks is cute.
How did he propose?
We always talk about that because it was more like we were so crazy about each other and he said, “I can’t see my life without you,” and I said, “I can’t see my life without you, either.” He said, “I want to marry you,” and I said, “I want to marry you, too.” We proposed to each other.
What would you want people to know about Dice outside his comedy?
He treats me better than a diamond or gold. He just puts me on a pedestal. I can’t say he treats everyone like that. He’s definitely a tough guy. Some guy said something to me and basically three people had to hold Andrew back from knocking him out. He would not start anything, but he’s definitely very protective of me and his kids [he was married twice before].
Why do you think he’s making a comeback now?
He never really stopped performing. It’s just organically happening that all this attention is coming to him because he never stopped performing. The only difference is he’s never done something like this in Vegas, where it’s a lot of weeks a year. He likes it better. It’s like a home. He loves just getting in the car and coming to the Hilton and performing. It’s a lot better that way. He’s always been there; he’s just doing it differently, and he’s getting a lot of attention for that.
What is your favorite thing to do in Las Vegas?
We love going to eat at nice restaurants, and we also love going to clubs. We just went to XS, and it was really cool. He’s a really good dancer.
What would you say to women who think of Andrew Dice Clay as misogynistic?
I’m very girly and protective of women. I just think it’s really weird that women didn’t understand that it was a joke. I’m not trying to offend anyone, but he wasn’t the first person to say anything about women or other groups of people that he made jokes about. For some reason everyone attacked him, I don’t know why and he doesn’t, either. I just think that women should take a look at other comedians and what they did even before him and realize that’s what comedians do. They say jokes to make people laugh, and the things he’s saying crack me up.
Why do you think he’s such a lightning rod for controversy?
I think it’s because he was so good-looking, and people couldn’t handle that. I think they pick on him for that because most comedians are funny-looking. I sound like such a wife, but I really don’t know why.
What is your favorite Andrew Dice Clay joke?
“Who brings their wife to Vegas?”