Compiled by @marseniuk
@RichardAbowitz Hey Cirque, a good magician is available, finally, for your one bad show. Lance Burton-Believe. Nice sound to it! A chance at real fixation.
@DitaVonTeese Confession: Real reason I don’t do after-show meet and greets each night is because I would miss out on the group shower with the dancers.
@gretawire Harry Reid’s motto: Driving Nevada Forward (and America off a cliff!).
@marcsavard My 5 1/2 yr old asked me how Lady Gaga likes her steak cooked. I dunno? She responded, “Raw Raw, Rah Ah Haw.” Where does she gets this stuff?
@ODDTwitter Sitting next to a girl clad head 2 toe in Ed Hardy, desperately trying to cover up scent of sin w/ VS perfume. Not everything stays in Vegas.
@DeepakChopra Had a powerful meditation just now—caused an earthquake in Southern California.
@kellyoxford Just noticed my son calls Justin Bieber “Justin Beaver.” Not going to correct that.
@owillis Dow is up 3022 points since Obama was sworn in as president. For a destroyer of capitalism, that’s a pretty horrible record.
@thestrippodcast Holy crap! Frank Gehry just told me his favorite structure on the Strip is … the Excalibur! “That knocks my socks off.” Wow. Also, yikes.
@tinch Like a bad stripper, the iPad sits cold in my lap.
@conanobrien I’m confused by the new census form. There’s no box for “Sickly White.”
@ikeSeege Lance Burton leaves the Monte Carlo, the hotel that was built around HIM! What’s next, Siegfried and Roy are no longer at The Mirage???
@howiemmandel I didn’t realize I was feeling an earthquake. The chandelier over my urinal is still swinging.
@ScottAukerman They should rename Twitter “Bored Comedians In Airports.”
@TheMcNabb Anyone selling a house in Washington?
@BeanzOmalley Benji Madden is bangin’ Holly Madison? Congrats douche, my great grandpa’s college roommate hit that, too!!