Billy Mac, bartender at Brentwood café and Tavern, 7325 W. Warm Springs Road

“This regular got a little out of hand one night after a few too many Jäger shots and threw a shot glass at me. I 86’d her, and she called me back the next day saying she’d do anything to come back. ‘Anything?’ I said. I told her to come in later and we’ll settle up. I quickly ran across to the market and got what I needed. When she came in later that day, I told her to assume the position and she proceeded to be spanked, bare-ass, by a 14-inch striped bass. Its guts and goo were going everywhere. I’ve got pictures, too!”

— As told to Patrick Moulin