Compiled by @marseniuk
@stephanieweedin 24 hr Vegas gem: Pho Kim Long on Spring Mountain. Not Thai but at 5 a.m. any Asian is as good as any other. This goes for food and strippers.
@kellyoxford Personal trainer Jillian Michaels says she won’t have a baby because she doesn’t want to ruin her body. Darwin wins.
@neilkull I’m killin’ it. So, like, all you haters: Up Yours.
@djChuckie Dear bartenders in Vegas, if you see me, please don’t sell me alcohol. I’m trying to stay sober.
@maryspecht I plan to give my kids the option of going to college, or hitting “Random article” on Wikipedia several times a day for a few years.
@lasvegaslisa Watching “the Donald” on the View … Is it just me, or did the comb over transform into the comb FORWARD over? How does he make that happen?
@LindseyRathjen Baby Mama drama at my apartment complex … Soooo watching from my balcony.
@pattistanger Remember, women are like crock-pots, they heat up slowly, and men are like microwaves, instantly ready to go.
@melindasvegas One great thing about living in Vegas: no one knows who Zac Posen is and they could care less about his Target collection.
@joelmchale I have a new girlfriend and her name is Ipad. I feel like I’m in Star Trek when I use this thing. Is there a Replicator app?
@lvtaxidriver Best statement of the night so far: ”OMG I forgot my panties back at the pool” 4Seasons is such classy joint.