Mother Knows Best, Celebrates Alone

Every mom who celebrated Mother’s Day with your loving offspring, please stand up—wait, not so fast, Kris Jenner.

The mother of six and stepmother of four more hosted a Mother’s Day celebration of sorts at Eve in Crystals May 8, but she couldn’t talk any of her socialite children—Kim, Kourtney, Khloe or even Robert Kardashian—into hanging out with her.

It wasn’t the arduous 45-minute flight from L.A. to Las Vegas that deterred her kids from coming—Kim was in town the night before to throw a bachelorette party for C-string socialite La La Vazquez. (The most famous of the sisters K hung out in the private dining room at Tao with the future Mrs. Carmelo Anthony and Destiny’s Child member Kelly Rowland.

Let’s just hope Vazquez wasn’t listening to any of the relationship advice Kardashian proffered during dinner; relationship advice from Kim K is like hep-C prevention tips from Pamela Anderson.)

Kim Kardashian flew back to L.A. mere hours before Jenner arrived at Eve to celebrate being a mother of such mindful, selfless children.

The events didn’t do anything to soften In Touch Weekly’s recent cover story featuring Kim’s first husband, Damon Thomas, calling his former wife a “fame whore” who leaked naked pics of Kourtney to incite a scandal and talks smack about Khloe’s marriage.

Jenner’s ever-thoughtful second-born did arrange to have a designer handbag delivered to her mother’s hotel room before jetting back to L.A. What’s curious is that unlike almost every other mundane aspect of Kardashian’s life—how she ordered the sea bass at Tao because, you know, it’s “her favorite,” public shout-outs via Twitter for what was most likely comp hotel accommodations (Thank u … the Trump Hotel for another fab Vegas experience!”), etc.—the brand of handbag was not shamelessly announced/advertised/Tweeted a million times. This suggests the bag was indeed a legitimate gift, not some free swag or part of an endorsement deal. (We know! We can hardly get our heads around that one either—Kim Kardashian paying for something. In Vegas. It’s almost unheard of!)

Whether it was purchased, comped or re-gifted, here’s hoping the purse was big enough to store Mama Kardashian’s lonely tears and the fat check the enterprising matriarch probably got to host her childless Mother’s Day celebration.

There were no lingering abandonment issues, however. Jenner returned to L.A. on Mother’s Day morning, where she did breakfast with the kids and took her respectful family to church. Yes, we said church—because, you know, the Kardashians are the most wholesome, God-fearing family in America, and going to Mass (and Tweeting about it) isn’t hypocritical at all.

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