Compiled by @marseniuk
@motherpucker Ed Hardy is now making condoms. Think of it as your very last warning that you may be hooking up with a douchebag.
@marvski Brick breaker + office toilet = mini vacation.
@NickyHilton Life was much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.
@hughhefner Man can walk on the moon but can’t fix an oil spill destroying the environment? What the fuck!
@Jaalay One thing I learned from Rock Band tonight: I cannot sing like Debbie Harry.
@Norm_Clarke Taking first look at Encore Beach Club … just ordered my first $10 Coors Lite in Vegas.
@djtinat Hate it when I get stuck with a guy for my manicure. It’s like he rushes to get it done as fast he can … Typical.
@Official_JES Packing for Vegas!!!!! Always fun; you can fit many small outfits in to one big suitcase!
@MarkusSchulz First time in over 10 years flying Southwest Airlines. Feels like I’m in elementary school trying to line up. Who came up with this????
@DanaWhite Fight is at the MGM. I fucked up and went to Mandalay!!! Lol
@robbiereviews SATC2: “This year’s worst release since the BP oil spill, with just as many f***ed-up birds.”
@charlieclark Dude! At a charity event supporting mentally challenged kids, you DON’T call something stupid “retarded”!