Compiled by @marseniuk
@JimGaffigan My 4 yr old son gave me a handmade card for Father’s Day. Maybe for Christmas I’ll draw him a picture of some toys.
@herodotusjr So, let’s see: IL-SEN comes down to “Liar” v. “Shady,” Reid v. Angle is “Schmuck” v. “Crazy”—and people say issue politics are dead!
@corblund I think I got a poker hangover.
@AllieBlaine Why is my cab driver asking me for GPS!! He is mad that I don’t have it on my phone. WTF!?
@chanelwestcoast Some of these girls who are topless here really shouldn’t be!!
@djedmcdonald Just out of curiosity, I looked up the word douche in the dictionary and lo and behold, there was a big pic of Ryan Cabrera.
@lady__poker Working with attorneys and playing poker—it makes me into this AMAZING liar. LOL!
@TheInfamousPJ “They were bad news bears.” “Oh they were bears?” “No. They were more like bad news skinny gays.”
@Jesshazel This BP shit is making me so ashamed to be British. My best friend lives in Vegas. She’s sad because they killed her beaches and fishies! 🙁
@Daggy1 Dear Las Vegas: If Harry Reid gets voted back, don’t expect me or my friends to gamble in your casinos ever again.
@TyLawson3 I heard if u hit a Kardashian, u win a championship. Kim K, holla me!!! I need ya for 17 min.
@petenicely Sharron Angle—the Republican candidate for Senate in Nevada—is more Palin than Palin.
@MightyOCD It says so much about Nevada that this chick was even in the state legislature. She makes Palin look like a Rhodes Scholar.