Compiled by @marseniuk
@chandlermassey Whew! It’s not a good workout until I throw up a little.
@gregg_sulkin I just got into my car valet. I think the valet let one off!!! Not happy.
@AliciaJacobs Best line of the night at the Emmy after-party: Drunk woman says 2 me, “I was so pissed when they killed u off the Guilding Light!”
@ghostbusteryan Gothic kids look silly enough in the winter as it is. But it’s way too hot for gloves, chains, long black clothes and boots. #giveitarest.
@lushbeat I don’t wake up and ask what’s for breakfast. I ask what’s for LIFE!
@megroxthevox After the buuuusy day I had in the heat, you could probably crack an egg on my abs, and then fry it on my head.
@Architechnology Landon Donovan got some girl pregnant in England—looks like the English let another American shot slip through. He shoots, he scores!
@JohnnyEricksen So, it goes our cabana, Leo DiCaprios’s, Derek Fisher’s and some super model. Next to that? Paris Hilton. Thank you, Vegas.
@hypnocools My pool is 100 degrees. Guess the solar cells work! Hmmm, hot tub is at 98…
@WorldNewsVine It has to be a joke right? $20K for portrait of Governor Jim Gibbons, in a state with the highest unemployment rate.
@HouserInc To everyone going to #EDC, you’re still expected to finish your algebra 2 homework and read chapter 3 of “Catcher in the Rye” by Monday.
@MittySapin I swear this guy from Disaster Date was my classmate in one of my KIN classes @ UNLV.