Compiled by @marseniuk
@Maggie When you’re waiting on something, cell phones are the new cigarettes.
@mindykaling Kids, don’t peak early. It is better to be overlooked in high school.
@garyvee I am laser focused … and when that happens … crazy awesome rad super shiz ensues.
@kellyoxford Mme Tussauds, please add a wick to Kim Kardashian’s wax figure. Thanks.
@GerryDuggan Mel Gibson is the Oscar Wilde of racist maniacs.
@Konstantined 750 Million, Really? Tiger had to pay her more than BP has paid out to the LA for the oil spill so far.
@bauserdotcom Sheesh. Downtown Niagara Falls looks like the Vegas Strip fucked Bourbon Street, then abandoned the baby on Coney Island.
@brittneypalmer K.. Someone talk me out of buying an iPad.. :-/
@oskargarcia Dear ESPN: Please stop informing me of the MLS game of the week. I don’t care. Thanks!
@SICK_STAR Summer sweater = bear rug chest hair in the heat. Tao Beachin’ with some of Vegas’ finest.
@NOLA_lovebug I appreciate that “dog eating contest” is trending right now… I can only hope its meant for the hot dog eating contest….