Compiled by @marseniuk
@Lightmatrix Thanks to BP, you can only get tuna packed in oil now.
@michaelianblack Somewhere in heaven, Billy Martin just got fired. RIP George Steinbrenner.
@johnnykats This contact high is giving me a case of the munchies
> @thestrippodcast Is Paris Hilton there?!?!
> @johnnykats She’s on my lap!
@LaceyJones Only in Vegas do I get dirty looks walking around w/my dad in the casino. My daddy is 70 ppl! Seriously? Lol.
@DavidKrausePMG Dropped and busted my iPhone trying to carry too much. Good news is that I did not drop the beer & cupcakes.
@ToddWorz I’m confused. Are Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry the same person? Like a Hanna Montana thing?
@taylormadebby Imma have to kick my dog in her ass. She keeps goin’ in my room and stealin’ my thongs. #WTF
@Joshuajstrick Headed to Hooters Casino. LOL. I might gag a little.
@EmilyEllibee Ahhh I love the cross roads of Spring Mountain and Las Vegas Blvd. Always smells like poop.
@Tonyhawk Can’t carry my extra skateboard on the plane, so I left it in here. Barcelona airport, EasyJet terminal. Finders keepers.
@PhillyD Lindsay Lohan is now in jail and our streets are a little safer, less slutty and overall not quite as fun as they used to be.