Tweets of the Week

Compiled by @marseniuk

@Lightmatrix Thanks to BP, you can only get tuna packed in oil now.

@michaelianblack Somewhere in heaven, Billy Martin just got fired. RIP George Steinbrenner.

@johnnykats This contact high is giving me a case of the munchies

> @thestrippodcast Is Paris Hilton there?!?!

> @johnnykats She’s on my lap!

@fatcat5000 @brakeLivingJRB all of us here at gamblers anonymous are following and rooting for you.

@LaceyJones Only in Vegas do I get dirty looks walking around w/my dad in the casino. My daddy is 70 ppl! Seriously? Lol.

@DavidKrausePMG Dropped and busted my iPhone trying to carry too much. Good news is that I did not drop the beer & cupcakes.

@ToddWorz I’m confused. Are Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry the same person? Like a Hanna Montana thing?

@DaynaRoselli Heading to @Nordstrom anniversary sale. Wish me and my credit card lots of luck! #spendingspree.

@taylormadebby Imma have to kick my dog in her ass. She keeps goin’ in my room and stealin’ my thongs. #WTF

@Joshuajstrick Headed to Hooters Casino. LOL. I might gag a little.

@EmilyEllibee Ahhh I love the cross roads of Spring Mountain and Las Vegas Blvd. Always smells like poop.

@Tonyhawk Can’t carry my extra skateboard on the plane, so I left it in here. Barcelona airport, EasyJet terminal. Finders keepers.

@PhillyD Lindsay Lohan is now in jail and our streets are a little safer, less slutty and overall not quite as fun as they used to be.