Canada’s Karate Kid

There hasn’t been a Canadian teen to set this many hearts a-flutter since a young Michael J. Fox taught us a little thing about life, love and playing basketball as a werewolf. Yet there was Justin Bieber on July 24 at Planet Hollywood’s Theater for the Performing Arts, making the girls swoon or cry inconsolably, depending on whether they were able to score tickets.

Biebs was doing karate moves onstage either because he thought it was the Elvis-appropriate thing to do while in Las Vegas, or because he’s making a movie about life, love and doing karate as a werewolf. You know how those Canadians are.

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As I careen toward 60, I’m making increasingly desperate attempts to appear young-at-heart and switched-on. You should hear me screeching and hooting along with “Alejandro” on the car radio. I’m totally tuned in! So what, when I am not pretending to be 14 years old, are my real musical tastes? This brings us to my iPod and the geriatric nostalgia concealed therein. My playlist, by me: 1. “Substitute,” by the Who. This 1966 hit is literally the most perfect pop song every written. Gaga, take note of the scalpel-cut lyrics: