Compiled by @marseniuk
@stephanieweedin Just met an “independent club promoter.” yeah, I’m unemployed too, pal.
@VegasAnonymous I’m parking in the Rio parking lot. I have great and multiple memories in this garage.
@sarahfeldberg Found 2 bullets in my jewelry bag this morning. Oh Israel, I miss you.
@albertamayne “If you don’t like gay marriage, blame straight people. They are the ones that keep having gay babies.”
@IowaGirlBeth Watching “Teen Mom” makes me feel so better about myself!
@TrishelleC Me “Tell me you’re at least 18.” Boy: “Yeah.” Me: “Well, how old are you?” Boy: “18.” Perfect!
@JasonMercier I’m just a simple man with a complex mind.
@KyleZabelny Sometimes I wish I had a GF so I could put all my stuff into her purse. Granted I’d be the one carrying the purse, but I’m OK with that.
@MilesDevin PLEASE STAY SINGLE. I don’t want to hear you bitch about your significant other that you have no chance of a long-term future with anymore.