Compiled by @marseniuk
@rocknrollwine Boarding Virgin America for flight 2 vegas. Very dark with purple neon & house music blaring. I think they are offering lap dances in aisle 12.
@DJ_FRANZEN All these orange cones in Vegas and no construction workers in sight!
@danie_d Life has handed me lemons. Screw lemonade or lemon drop martinis. I’m going to punch things. 🙂
@grayjon I shoulda been an usher backup dancer. FML.
@DavidKatzenberg At the gym, sleeping. Compromise. 🙂
@DjQuira Reeses Pieces are good for breakfast!!! LOL! Well, they r good all the time. I should buy stock in the company…
@JVEGASB1C You really don’t realize how much a school teacher does unless u date one. Man, they are underpaid and overworked!
@Lloydbanks “Don’t hate, be hated.”
@mcswinn Must of woke up on the wrong side, cuz I’m super over it.
@EmilyEllibee Dude, where’s my car?
@JackKetsoyan New line 4 ending a relationship: “I just can’t picture you being on my reality show.”
@chelseahandler I just found a piece of lettuce in my belly button.
@beckynlewis 2:45 and only 5 meltdowns. Sadly, this would be considered a good day for me.