Spring Time for Paris

It’s all over but the crying. Well, the crying and the year of probation, the $2,000 fine, the substance abuse outpatient program, the 200 hours of community service and the indignation of being detained in Tokyo by immigration authorities Sept. 21. But otherwise, it’s all over.

Paris Hilton’s drug ordeal came to a close Sept. 20 when she entered guilty pleas to misdemeanor drug possession and misdemeanor obstruction of an officer. Her two six-month sentences were suspended.

“I was in possession, as well as telling the officer the bag wasn’t mine,” Hilton told Justice of the Peace Joe Bonaventure at the Clark County Detention Center, as she swayed her shoulders back and forth in her best “but I’m a good wittle girl” pose.

“I am going to warn you, Ms. Hilton,” Bonaventure said, “you’ve now been sentenced to one year in the Clark County Detention Center. The Clark County Detention Center is not the Waldorf Astoria. But I assure you, if you violate the terms of your probation, you will serve one year in the Clark County Detention Center.”

Wow, he’s sassy and he name-checks the competition. Sounds like someone wants to give Judge Judy a run.

Hilton now has to manage to not get arrested for a year. It doesn’t sound like much, but then again, Lindsay Lohan just had to not fail a drug test less than a month after she got out of rehab and we all see how that went.