@scottscool7 I have places I WANNA be & places I SHOULD be. So, why am I laying in bed watching Interview with a Vampire and eating grapes? Lazy bastard.
@BrookeInVegas TV ad said for $1 a day, the price of a cup of coffee, I could feed a village. I called to find out where to get such cheap coffee.
@TonyDasco The best part of not drinking is I don’t have to look for my car tomorrow morning.
@AnnieLePage “Going to church doesn’t make you a good person any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.”
@cmoonreed I think they’re filming an episode of Cops right outside my apartment complex. Good thing I’m moving!
@markross67 I love how Sharron Angle told Harry Reid to “man up”! Classic! 🙂
@mattselman Most profitable sentence ever written: “Title of movie does not appear on hotel bill.”
@april_corum A stripper fell on me at a concert at the Palms. And I didn’t even have to pay her.
@Miss_Lalaine Damn it smells good in my kitchen! How blessed am I to have a man that cooks?!!! Hallelujah!!! Can I get an AMEN!?
@Aubs Haven’t left for Vegas yet & already spilled down my shirt & inadvertently flashed people my ass 3 times. Foreshadowing the night ahead?
@AnnieDuke How can we expect people to make healthy food choices when soda costs half as much as water and broccoli is more expensive than a Big Mac?