The Jersey Age

When historians comb through the wreckage of the late 20th and early 21st century, they’ll find relics of the Jet Age and the Space Age and the Information Age. By the time they get to 2010, and the archaeological record consists entirely of discarded bits of foil sewn onto cotton and empty tubes of bronzer, they’ll know without a doubt that we were living in the Jersey Age.

Look no further than Jenni Farley, the sixth Jersey Shore castmember to host in the clubs in the last month—only Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and the perpetually indignant Angelina Pivarnick didn’t make the cut.

JWoww turned up at MGM Grand’s Studio 54 on Nov. 27 with boyfriend Roger Mathews to steal the spotlight of a notoriously slow weekend in Vegas. See, fan-starved semi-lebrities? This is the way to do it. Who wants to fight with the third lead on Scrubs or the neighbor’s wife from Meet the Fockers when you could have all that delicious, delicious attention pie for yourself? Especially when your chief rival for the weekend is actual delicious, delicious pie.

She did clarify one sticking point for the kids, though. When asked why she wasn’t engaging in Jersey Shore’s second-most famous mating dance (behind The Situation’s patented “drag a girl into the bathroom” move), she said, “Girls don’t fist-pump.”

So there, gals, now you know how to behave like a proper gentlewoman.