Naughtiest Cake

Katy Perry’s bachelorette cake

A good friend will throw you a bachelorette party. A great friend will put in an order for a cake that may include pubes of frosting.

When Perry came to town in September to shake off the stink of Russell Brand, Rihanna got her hands on a cake shaped like a man’s torso. A very excited man’s torso. She added her own well-wishes, “C—t-gratulations,” to the dirty dessert. Should you wake up one day in a panic that your life hasn’t included quite enough ejaculate made out of frosting, you can channel your inner Perry and order where Rihanna did—locally, from Freed’s Bakery. It’s their Standing Up model.

Best Birthday Party

Noah Tepperberg

For two days during the two-year anniversary of his club Lavo, Tao Group’s Tepperberg celebrated his birthday. A big event and a big name are going to attract plenty of celebs, but that doesn’t mean they’re necessarily going to get along.

For the first leg of the bash on Aug. 13, Kim Kardashian jumped on the mike to wish Tepperberg a happy birthday, and everything was peachy. Then, by 3 a.m., Paris Hilton stopped by the table—but wouldn’t speak to or look at Kardashian. After Hilton insisted that “Stars Are Blind,” Kardashian reportedly got on the mike to say, “Now let’s hear some real music.”

Don’t worry, though: Where one love dies, another blooms. A boozy Stephanie Pratt dove in to make out with Redfoo (Stefan Kendal Gordy) of LMFAO. Or at least she did when she could find him under all that hair.

Frequent Flier Points

The Cast of Jersey Shore

Love ’em or hate ’em, the overly tanned guidos and guidettes of MTV’s Jersey Shore are racking up the frequent-flier points as they constantly make their way to Vegas to host an array of lucrative nightclub and pool parties that bring the show’s fans among us out to get their fist-pump on and chase some tail.