(FaLaLaLaLa.com) By now you’re probably done with the Christmas thing. You’d like nothing more than to see this entire season replaced by something less stressful, like a root canal. Hey, I feel you. That’s why I’d like to recommend FaLaLaLaLa—an all-Christmas-all-the-time blog that celebrates every facet of the holiday season.
“Wait a minute, dumbass,” you say. “I wanted something that would help me forget that this season was happening to me, not a blog that will take me deeper into it.” But FaLaLaLaLa is the good kind of Christmas; the blog has all the right music, all the right pictures. It’s like the difference between really good vodka and the smelly stuff that comes in five-liter jugs. This is crystal-clear, distilled Christmas, and it will dissolve even the most towering iceberg of a bad mood down to a layer of crystals floating on the martini. Besides, the only way you’re going to get past this hangover is with a little hair of the dog that bit you.
SON OF COSBY SWEATERS
(ChristmasSweaterCollection.com) Lars Holdhus is a young man with a “constantly growing” collection of Christmas sweaters. On this simple page, he models them, front and back. It’s at once an ingenious notion and a wholly frightening display of red and green wool. I kind of wish there were stories accompanying each of these sweaters, but at the same time, I don’t want to know where he got them. It’d ruin the magic.
(KrampusKards.blogspot.com) I suggest Las Vegas ditches Santa Claus in favor of the Krampus. The former’s polarizing “naughty or nice” mind-set is at odds with this town’s mission statement, which is all about duality (or even triality, sometimes, when three of us get drunk at a party and “experiment”). But the Krampus, is a goat-like demon from Austrian/Hungarian mythology, and he has only one job: to punish the rotten little shits that jolly, passive-aggressive ol’ St. Nick forgot. True, it’s no fun waking up to a horned demon looking over your tax returns and slowly shaking his head, but at least we know what we’re getting with this guy. Besides, I suspect that the Krampus’ benevolence could be bought with comped drinks and a free admission to a topless bar.
Anyway, the Krampus Kards blog features old-world postcards and newer artistic representations of this underrated badass. Some of them—Travis Louie’s portrait, in particular—even border on the cute. If you visit this blog, and pass it on to friends, odds are that a certain demon will hear of it and bypass your house—even if you’re on Santa’s black list. That guy simply doesn’t understand how real people live.