Miss Underage America

One girl who won’t be partying in the clubs anytime soon is the newly minted Miss America, Teresa Scanlan. She’s the 17-year-old Miss Nebraska who edged out Miss Arkansas, Alyse Eady, and Miss Hawaii, Jalee Fuselier, for the roses at Planet Hollywood.

She’s old enough to be Miss America but can’t vote. And not even just because she’s a woman, the way the Constitution intended. She can’t even buy cigarettes. How is a girl supposed to survive in the world of competitive pageantry and modeling without Marlboro Lights?

Not only is that unfair to her, but it’s unfair to the rest of us who were perfectly happy to watch her in the swimsuit competition before anyone found out her age.

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