Flavor Flav’s Flavor

Flavor Flav is opening a chicken shack in Clinton, Iowa, and promises not to be an absentee owner.

The Public Enemy hypeman says, “You’re going to catch me in there seasoning up my chicken, flouring up my chicken, frying up my chicken.”

Because who doesn’t want a former crack addict manhandling their chicken? (Answer: People who’ve never worked in the restaurant business and are blissfully unaware of the stuff that goes on in kitchens.)

Flavor Flav’s Chicken—the FFC that’s opening right next door to a KFC, apparently on Clinton’s famed Chicken Row—is a partnership with Nick Cimino, who owns Mama Cimino’s on Windmill Lane, and was already offering Flav’s wings at the pizza joint.

The Iowa location was chosen because it’s Cimino’s hometown, but Flav wants to open hundreds of FFCs around the nation. He also said the secret to his chicken is in the way he rubs his meat. With seasoning! Oh, God, with seasoning. We’re really sorry if anyone’s eyeballs just exploded thinking about that.