No Iron Bar Hilton for Mars

Singer Bruno Mars—born Peter Hernandez—will duck jail time stemming from a Sept. 19 arrest for possession of cocaine. That’s when, following a show, a bathroom attendant at the Hard Rock Hotel told security he saw someone in the john with a bag of white powder, a bag that the arrest report said contained 2.6 grams of cocaine.

At the time, Hernandez allegedly told Metro he’d never done drugs before. In which case: bad time to start. Let that be a lesson. If you’re going to start doing drugs in public, try to pick out a place where people can’t see you.

Hernandez will plead guilty to possession charges, pay a $2,000 fine, attend drug counseling and do 200 hours of community service. If he meets all the conditions and doesn’t get in any trouble for the next year, everything will be wiped off his record.

That’s the same deal that Paris Hilton got, down to the $2,000 fine and 200 hours of community service, though she only copped to 0.8 grams of coke. So now you know: If you’re going to get busted, you may as well have more coke on you. It’s better value that way.

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