@bobatl Anyone remember what Internet used to be like before Twitter & YouTube & Facebook & MySpace & iTunes & Netflix? Me neither.

@hollymadison Where are the movie cameras? Cuz I’m pretty sure I’m starring in the Hangover 2 right now…

@iHateJeffBaker I’m not saying I’m above being an employee at Walmart, but what I AM saying is that I’m above looking like I haven’t showered since 1988.

@TheThomason Damn girl, you’ve got a Mubarak. (An ass that won’t quit.)

@bubblebathos I hope I get married by the time I’m Jennifer Aniston.

@jenneviive Favorite part of a manicure: the part when I pick my polish off & try to create art with the shapes. Right now I have Abe Lincoln & WA state.

@lasvegasloopy Overheard in newsroom while discussing new taxes: ‘If they start taxing prostitution, I’m moving!’

@JoeVargas “I’m not on Facebook or Twitter” is the new “I don’t own a TV.”

@BrianMayes Lady Gaga went to the VMA’s dressed as meat, now she’s at the #Grammys in an egg. Two more red carpets & she could be a Denny’s Grand Slam!

@anthonysheedy Valentine’s Day went just as planned. I can’t wait until I eat a pizza and cry next year.

@raztazz2001 Just got the mail & I think I see why my hubby used his airline miles to subscribe to Sports Illustrated …. and it’s not for the sports 😛

@kervinf It’s not because we’re soul mates. I finish all your sentences because you talk too fucking slow!

@callmemrfresh1 #Arcade Fire just went from “who the fuck are they?” to “overrated” in 30 minutes. #grammys.

@SwaggajukuKen Am I the only one who thinks Lil Kim looks like a black Snooki?