JWoww turns 25, boobs turn 4

In the latest episode of Jersey Shore, Jenni “JWoww” Farley turned down an offer to hook up with a stranger because she liked how things were going with her new boyfriend, Roger Matthews.

You know, like a normal, reasonable person would do. We weep for what Jerz might become if this plague of rational behavior and consideration for other people’s feelings continues unabated.

Clearly, if she keeps this up, they’re going to have to write her off the show and replace her with an Italian sociopath who’s really committed to the lifestyle. We’re just spitballing here, but what’s Mussolini up to these days?

Farley, with her highfalutin’ “acting like a decent person” ways was at Vanity on Feb. 26 to celebrate her 25th birthday, along with Matthews and 15 friends. They were dancing and smooching until about 3 a.m.

The one thing missing? Anyone else from the Shore. To be fair, though, Deena and Snooki could have been hiding under each of JWoww’s boobs, and no one would have ever noticed. Pro tip: That’s a great way to avoid paying cover if you ever need to sneak into a club when JWoww is in town.

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Black Keys, The Prodigy hang at Cosmo; Tony Parker back in town for Baller's Ball at Lavo


Black Keys, The Prodigy hang at Cosmo; Tony Parker back in town for Baller's Ball at Lavo

By Jason Scavone

Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney of the Black Keys were spotted at Marquee after their Feb. 19 show at Cosmopolitan to see Above & Beyond debut their DJ residency, as were the guys from The Prodigy after they got done opening for Linkin Park at MGM Grand Garden Arena. It marks the first time 1998 and 2006 have gotten together and hung out in the same room like that. … Tony Parker eschewed the NBA All-Star Weekend to host at Lavo Feb. 19 for the Baller’s Ball.