Kim Kardashian champions something shiny and superfluous

The crowd outside Sugar Factory American Brasserie was jammed around the red carpet hours before arrivals were supposed to start—all to catch a glimpse of Kim Kardashian on the way in to the fancy gingerbread house at Paris.

And to think, all anyone would have had to do to disperse the crowd would have been to play Kim’s “Jam.” Two bars in and watch them all scatter.

Regardless, Kardashian was on hand March 5 for the grand opening of 30,000 square feet of restaurant and retail space, plus flash the 125-carat diamond-studded lollipop. (“The lollie that really tells poor people to suck it!”) She even brought 13-year-old sister Kylie Jenner to town for the first time. Oh, that poor girl doesn’t stand a chance. This is basically the celebrity equivalent of all those women The Greek brought over in a shipping container in Season 2 of The Wire.

Mel B had dinner with Kardashian, while Whitney Port was celebrating her 26th birthday with boyfriend Ben Nemtin. Notably absent was David Arquette, who got himself into a car crash earlier that day. Look, if he didn’t want to come out and load up on sparkly lollipops, he could have just said so.

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