Sheen fails to deliver the crazy goods

When you’re in the middle of capitalizing on the most entertaining/horrifying public celebrity meltdown since Fatty Arbuckle developed terrible taste in party guests, the least you could do when you return to the city where you started your downward spiral is give us some off-handed craziness. It’s just rude not to.

Yet Charlie Sheen, fresh off a Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option show in San Francisco on April 30, winged his way to Las Vegas along with goddess Natalie Kenly to walk the red carpet at Chateau around 1:30 a.m. The possibilities were endless. Yet the best he could muster was to note of Vegas that, “It’s the Disneyland for grown-ups.” That’s it. Nothing about assassins or Keith Richards being a droopy-eyed child or other notable bitchin’ rock stars from Mars other than Ziggy Stardust and Sheen himself.

Instead, Sheen set up shop with Kenly and Filter guitarist Rob Patterson before leaving the club after 4 a.m.

He did head downstairs to Sugar Factory for breakfast, where he stayed until 7 a.m. and handed out baseball caps to fans that said, “Winning.” When pancakes are the wildest thing about your night, though, maybe your time as a lunatic ringleader is up. We wonder what Andy Dick is doing these days?

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