At least the music at Pure wasn’t chin music

Let this be a lesson to all the male stars out there: If you find yourself in a situation where you’ve committed some sort of horrific transgression, and you’ve only paid the most basic of lip service to contrition, go ahead and leak some dong shots, and apparently, you’ll be forgiven.

Chris Brown was at Pure to celebrate his 22nd birthday May 8, and he was met by a mob of girls screaming for his attention. You know, girls. Like the one he beat the holy hell out of two years ago.

It’s kind of surprising that Kobe didn’t think of this first. It’s downright amazing that O.J. didn’t—he had The Naked Gun right there in front of him the whole time.

Brown did a set that included “She Ain’t You,” “Deuces” and “Where Do We Go From Here?” among others, all while shirtless. Well, shirtless, sure, but at least he had pants on.

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Seven Nights

Seven Nights

Thu 5 Throw on your sombrero, your poncho and prepare yourself for margs and tequila all around. Start the fiesta at the second annual “CHiP and Salsa” Cinco de Mayo bash at T&T Tacos and Tequila, hosted by CHiPs star Erik Estrada (1). It will be extra loco this year when the Half Pint Brawlers, a feisty midget wrestling group, famous for their bar scene in Jackass 3-D, throw a How Low Can You Go limbo contest. Partying starts at 11 a.m. with $5 Jose Cuervo Tradicional shots, $5 Dos Equis and a festive menu.