On again, off again, on again, intoxicated again

Trying to keep track of whether Audrina Patridge and BMX rider Corey Bohan are together or broken up is like trying to keep track of the number of people in a nightclub at any given time—you’re going to need a bouncer and a handheld clicker to keep count. Also, the fire marshal may get involved, for some reason.

Bohan was popped in the wee hours May 13 by the Hermosa (Calif.) Beach Police Department and charged with public intoxication before posting $500 bail after eight hours in the clink.

For her part, Patridge Tweeted, “I absolutely hate what jack Daniels does to people:( jack is a bad bad man!!!”

We think the sad face and the exclamation points really drive her point home. You could learn a thing or two, Friends of Bill W.

Bohan had plenty of time to get into town. By May 14, he was at the Hard Rock Hotel and ready to head over to the MGM Grand, where Patridge was celebrating her 26th birthday at Wet Republic. She arrived about 2:30 p.m. with a group of 15, including her brother Mark.

Her on-again boyfriend turned up around 5 p.m. at Wet Republic, where they were described as being cozy and affectionate. Though it’s entirely possible he was hugging her tightly just so she wouldn’t notice him going through her purse looking for a little extra bail money.

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Thu 12 In a city where beautiful people are a dime a dozen, it’s hard to stand out. But today at Liquid, nightlife guru Jack Colton gives his picks at his annual 20 Most Beautiful People Party. (In Aria, doors 11 a.m., men $20, women $10, local ladies free.) Be whisked away this evening at the launch of Tommy Bahama’s Patio Thursdays, steel and bongo drums included. During Island Time, 4-7 p.m., the restaurant will serve its latest cocktail concoctions paired with island-inspired small plates along with a selection of new rum flights.