Licensed and Bonded

A new Aston Martin dealership is open for business at 5550 W. Sahara Ave., and a four-car showroom is planned for the fall. Here’s why you should care:

1) Consumer choice: For the same money—about $120,000—you may select from the average-priced Valley home or a new V8 Vantage.

2) If the cute little Aston Martin Cygnet ever goes on sale in the United States, you can motor around feeling vastly superior to Smart drivers, though you’ll spend a lot of time correcting people who confuse the two.

3) It says “We’ve arrived” much more emphatically than the unveiling of a bearing for a large Ferris wheel.

4) Vegas Seven staffers will finally have a place to get their cars serviced.

5) Who doesn’t desire an automobile with organic electroluminescent displays?

6) You’ll have the opportunity to use the term “monocoque” without getting slapped.

7) Pussy Galore.

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Take Me Home

That last pup in the litter tugs hardest at the heart. One by one, they’ve all been snapped up by pudgy kids and indulgent parents until only the forgotten runt remains. That’s when the world calls out for a pure soul, the kind of person who will, for instance, walk into a denuded Sahara Hotel suite at the big liquidation sale, amble across the soiled carpet, momentarily admire the view of the Fontainebleau (that angel that never came down from heaven) and say to the ratty old upended couch, You’re the one for me! This is love. This is Vegas.

DTLV

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