Crystal Harris has the most Crystal Harris night possible

Hugh Hefner’s runaway bride, Crystal Harris, managed to draw Heidi Montag into a show of support—and also draw the ire of Holly Madison—when she turned up at Wet Republic June 18, the same day she was slated to get married to the Playboy mogul.

Three weeks later, she was back in town July 8, this time at Pure. She’s already more committed to Vegas than she was to Hef.

To start the evening, Harris found a bachelorette and wished her good luck. So there’s one marriage that’s already doomed to collapse under a crush of irony. Right now there are divorce lawyers trying to figure out the identity of the lucky bride-to-be. A $500 gift certificate isn’t a tacky wedding gift, or anything, right?

Harris lured over one clubgoer that evening to her VIP area to hand-feed him strawberries. When it came time to deliver the goods, though, she didn’t do anything with the guy. So, you know. At least she’s consistent.

Instead, Harris was canoodling with one of the gentlemen in her entourage of 10 or so. They left together while her friends stayed at Pure. Wait, so she bailed on them, too? Wow. This chick is like the 1932 Olympic Silver Medalist for Architecture John Russell Pope of bailing. In that she’s really dedicated to art form, and no one will have any idea who she is in a couple years.

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Seven Nights

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Thu 7 Get your LOLs and your LMFAOs in when stand-up funny guy Orny Adams, who starred alongside Jerry Seinfeld in the 2002 documentary Comedian, takes the stage tonight through July 9 at the Playboy Comedy Club. (In the Palms, doors 10 p.m., tickets start at $40 at Palms.com.) San Diego indie-rockers the Soft Pack (1) take the stage to make the hipsters swing their hips at Book & Stage every night through Saturday. (In the Cosmopolitan, shows at 10 p.m.

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