The Hoff’s birthday doesn’t stop for spats

“Don’t Hassel the Hoff” is like Hoff 101. Everybody knows that, and that should go double for The Hoff’s 31-year-old girlfriend on the night of his 59th birthday party.

Everybody knows that except, it seems, Hayley Roberts—the aforementioned 31-year-old girlfriend.

According to reports, David Hasselhoff and Roberts got into it July 23 and she called Wynn security, which showed up at the room and found her, according to an anonymous source, in some sort of distress. That would be great news if he exposed some kind of long-con espionage where she was secretly working for Garthe Knight and KARR, but probably not quite so good for a guy who had an ex-wife accuse him of domestic violence.

Still, when time came for the birthday party at Blush, they were all hugs and kisses and discussing the finer points of musical theory as applied to “I’m Always Here.” (OK, so maybe we just really, really hope that last part happened.)

Joining the party was Carrot Top, who came in after 1 a.m. to add his birthday wishes. He was beat to the prop punch, though, by fans who dressed up as Michael Knight and Mitch Buchannon, complete with floatation device.

Earlier in the afternoon, Hasselhoff got his hands on a floatation device of his own (sadly, we mean that literally) when he perched in the lifeguard stand at Encore Beach Club.

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Now the only fun thing to do at Crystals at night is try to break into Cartier. (Hah hah! Just kidding. We would never condone that sort of thing in public with so many people reading, and what do you mean, “Why are you wearing that Tom Cruise-in-Mission Impossible-style harness?” It’s, um, comfortable. Yeah, comfortable! Shut up, all right?) Eve, the Eva Longoria-owned club upstairs from her second Beso restaurant installation, closed as of July 12. Staff was notified at noon that day.

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