Moneybags for funbags

Holly Madison nearly caused Twitter to explode when it came out that she used Lloyd’s of London to insure her breasts for $1 million. She told People, “I’ve heard about people getting body parts insured, and I thought, ‘Why not?’ Because if anything happened to my boobs, I’d be out for a few months, and I’d probably be out a million dollars. I thought I’d cover my assets.”

Which is a valid concern, given all the boob-ruining accidents that could befall her, like maybe a sandbag could swing loose onstage and catch her right in the chest, or a swim-in-the-Shark-Reef publicity stunt goes horribly awry. But let’s break it all down: That’s $500,000 per breast, or about $303,000 per pound. Madison’s reported bra size is 36D, which means that on average, each breast would fill 710 cubic centimeters. That is roughly $704 of insurance per cubic centimeter of breast, which is still cheaper than the hourly rental rate at Spearmint Rhino. A 2009 Sea Ray Zeus Sundancer costs about $750,000, making it the second-most expensive motorboat going.

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