Apple thinks differently than a guido

If someone put a gun to your head and asked you to describe the core elements of The Situation, you’d probably blurt out “abs” and “entitlement” before wondering why so much potential Jersey Shore-related violence was being sent in your direction. Then you’d probably write to your congressman to demand that the waiting period for guns be tripled for MTV viewers.

But you wouldn’t be wrong about Sitch—and here’s where our story gets fun. What happened in Vegas on Oct. 15 was the Most Situation-y thing that could happen to The Situation in Las Vegas without his having impregnated a girl who kind of looked like a seven in the club but is really a high five at best once she’s out in the light.

Mike Sorrentino was in town to launch his own signature Sugar Factory Couture Pop. After flashing his abs in the store, he partied at the grand opening the new rooftop Chateau Gardens along with Pharrell Williams, David Draiman of Disturbed, Chuck Liddell and Friday Night LightsAimee Teegarden.

For his grand finale on Oct. 16, Sitch moseyed over to the Apple Store at the Fashion Show. Seeing as how Apple unloaded 4 million of the new iPhone 4S model over the weekend, it’s fair to say demand was running high. Demand brings all those messy lines with the people and the waiting. Apparently Sorrentino didn’t want to deal—and that’s when he felt the wrath of Apple.

Twitter user Laurenn McCubbin put him on blast: “One of my former Apple compatriots just kicked The Situation out of an Apple store for trying to cut in line for a 4S. HE IS MY HERO.”

Even Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak stood in line for a 4S, and he could buy The Situation just to put him on display in a zoo, where the local children could run up and feed him protein-infused vodka and chicken parm right from their hands.

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America has voted, and like Nixon in ’68, the former runner-up has ascended to the top spot. Unlike Nixon in ’68, we’re assuming Kaskade isn’t going to bug the Democrats, although he does have some sweet new audio technology at his disposal in the form of the gold-plated Pioneer mixer he received at Marquee on Oct. 9 for winning DJ Times magazine’s 2011 America’s Best DJ award.