Keep your eye on the ball

Whether or not you usually go to strip clubs, they’re a must-consider on Monday nights during football season. As a group, they outdo the casinos and local bars when it comes to Monday Night Football shindigs. They’re not all great, and I could list the stiffs here, but I’d rather concentrate on the winners. If you don’t see a club below, it’s because its program isn’t worth a trip. All of these clubs show the games on big screens, and you won’t pay an admission fee (even as a non-local) except where noted.

Crazy Horse III. This one doesn’t get a big turnout, which is a bit hard to understand given that from 3-6 p.m., draft beer, wine and well drinks are free at the bar. Since the games start at 5:30, this is a perfect warm-up venue, especially if you bring a couple of friends.

Spearmint Rhino. The biggest and busiest club in town offers a free buffet with hot dogs and chicken wings, along with bags of chips and fresh carrots and celery, served in a big section in the back that’s reserved for MNF viewing. Beers are $3.30, which is cheap for a strip club but more expensive than some of the others. Don’t try bringing out-of-towners, though, as they’ll probably get hit with the $22 non-local entrance fee.

Hustler Club. Beers during the game are $1, and there’s a selection of free sandwiches. The crowd is small, but the atmosphere is good—this one should grow.

Olympic Garden. Buy a drink and get a food ticket for pizza, pasta, wings and hot dogs catered by Boston Pizza. The best drinking play is a bucket of five beers for $12. Tip: If you don’t want to participate in the halftime dollar-lap-dance onslaught, holding a greasy chicken wing in your hand is a surefire dancer repellent.

Sapphire. There’s a $20 admission for everyone, but that gets you three drinks and unlimited food from an Italian buffet. Drink choices include premium beers (Heineken and Amstel Light, among them) and liquors (Patrón and Absolute), so you shouldn’t mind paying the 20 bones.

Treasures. This one’s the best. Domestic beer, wine and well drinks are $1 till 6 p.m., then all drinks go to regular high prices but are 2-for-1. Treasures also has the best MNF food spread, with hot dogs, pizza, sliders, chili, several different salads and fresh fruit.

If you like parlays, start with the free beers at Crazy Horse III, then head to any combination of the others for eats and ambience.