The Three Musketeers

(PG-13) ★☆☆☆☆

The classic novel is now a migraine of a movie, thanks to an awful script. The Musketeers are forgettable kill machines, Milady de Winter is played by Milla Jovovich, and even an unfortunate Christoph Waltz turn as Cardinal Richelieu can’t save a single scene. Clashing swords (3-D swords in your face!), purloined jewels and court intrigues no longer suffice in this one. Too much green-screen effects and bombastic nonsense.