Where Is The Love?

JustMadeLove.com

In a scene from the 2001 film Amélie, the title character sits on a Parisian rooftop and wonders “How many people are having an orgasm right now?” (“Fifteen,” the film informs her.) But that’s just Paris, and fictionalized Paris at that. If the social engineer in you demands true-to-life figures, check out I Just Made Love—a Google Maps-based website and smartphone application that not only tells you what your neighbors are doing, but how and why they did it. You can place an arrow on the site of the deed, list off the positions you assumed (tastefully presented by tiny blue and pink stick figures), say whether or not a condom was used or if it was your first time. … Look, I’ll just stop this shameful business and tell you what’s happening nearby. “Absolutely intense and amazing … we explored the pleasures of anal,” says a male/female couple at Sahara Avenue and Cimarron Road. “Bear attack!” declares a male/male couple near Pecos Road and Owens Avenue. “We both came at the same time,” effervesces a female/female couple in the vicinity of Bonanza Road and Eastern Avenue. Even if these aren’t strictly real-time figures (I imagine that people wash up before grabbing their smartphones), it’s fun to imagine that all of this hot monkey fun is going on while you watch the big map, waiting for your neighbors to check in.

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When I speak in defense of the book, I often find myself avoiding any discussion of my current vocation. Even in the classroom, where it’s obvious to my students what I do, because I am doing it right there in front of them, I find myself apologizing, offering caveats, soft-shoe-sashaying away from the obvious: Dude, you’re an English teacher. Of course you like books and think everyone should read them.

DTLV

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