Welcome to the Inaugural Diddy Bowl

Frankly, we’re hoping this was the last Super Bowl ever. Not because it means the Giants go out on top—which would be dandy—but because we’d like NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to follow the precedent set at Tao on Feb. 4 and renames the whole thing the Diddy Bowl.

They can call the Pro Bowl the Super Bowl or something, if they’re that hung up on the name.

Diddy shouted out Apolo Anton Ohno and Michael Phelps—because Diddy obviously is angling for a Subway spokesman gig—and hectored the crowd into posting on Facebook and Twitter where they were and what they were doing: So, could everyone maybe take a minute and do something so #DiddyBowl is a trending topic?

If we let him have this one, maybe he’ll ease up by the time of the next White Party. It’s getting exhausting trying to not pay attention to Diddy. He’s like a 5-year-old banging on a pot with a wooden spoon while you’re on the phone.

Before it was all over, he climbed up and sat on the edge of the stage, like Tao’s official hood ornament, to hype the crowd. Please, someone: Just tell Diddy he makes the best macaroni art in his whole class, so the rest of us can have a few minutes of peace and quiet.

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Seven Nights

Seven Nights

Thu 2 Find aural satisfaction at the Cosmopolitan, where ’fro’d local fave DJ M!ke Attack (1) spins beat-heavy jams at Bond (11 p.m.) and singer-songwriter Liyah Lapidot performs at Book & Stage. (10 p.m. and midnight, CosmopolitanLasVegas.com.) Every first Thursday of each month, event company Insomniac’s sister biz Bassrush and Vegas-based Frequency Events throw an all electro-dub night.