Can’t Happen Here


I believe we’re past the point where we have to decide if we can accept zombies as a fact. Once people start getting their features chewed off, it’s time to begin sawing down the shotguns, sharpening the truncheons and stocking the bunker with fats, carbs and sugars. And we’ve only one slight hope: Assuming that we still have Internet access after half of Summerlin is, ah, repurposed, we’ll have Map of the Dead to direct us to the needful things. This site, a red-skinned overlay of Google Maps, helpfully points out the convenience stores, hardware stores, pawn shops, liquor stores, cemeteries, doctor’s offices, pharmacies, shopping malls and more that are closest to your address—an index of everything a warrior of the wasteland could ever want to maintain a quality of life. The reasoning behind every marked site is carefully explained (“Church: Hallowed ground won’t help, but thick wood doors might”), and a “No Danger Zones” overlay is available (though it doesn’t seem to actually do anything). Map of the Dead is ostensibly a teaser site for a smartphone game that’s coming this summer, but we know better, don’t we? The evil is coming. Protect your face and I guess your brains, too.