The Situation takes on club operator

Shame has never been Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino’s strong point. And it’s only really a “weak point” in the way that quantum physics is a “weak point” for emperor penguins.

So it isn’t exactly surprising that Sitch would make a tacit admission that his nightclub drawing power faded so quickly it didn’t outlive the appearance contract he signed. It’s just that Sitch would like his money either way.

Legally speaking, to paraphrase Ol’ Dirty Bastard, Sorrentino’s lawyer thinks if Sitch wants his money, ya’ll better give him his money.

According to online reports, Sorrentino signed a deal with Diversified Entertainment last year to make three appearances at either Chateau or Gallery by June 30. (Block 16 Hospitality took over management of Gallery in May.) Allegedly, these were $30,000 pay-or-play deals, meaning he’d collect his $90,000 no matter what.

Sitch says he only got the call once—turning up at Sugar Factory and Chateau for a New Year’s Eve appearance, though he did also make an October appearance, which was the same weekend he got eighty-sixed from the Fashion Show Apple Store for trying to line-cut for an iPhone 4S—and was paid $30,000 for his trouble.

We’ll pause here so you can get out of your system those paroxysms of rage over how much money a guy who’s basically leprechaun-lucky to have ducked his destiny as a strip-club DJ gets paid to hang out for a few hours in the VIP section, peer over the top of his sunglasses and be terrible to women.

Done? Great.

So now he’s suing Diversified for the remaining $60,000. Which raises a larger question of why the company would invest so much in any one Jersey Shore cast member. Now that the show has one last-gasp season left, if they’d have just waited a few months, they could’ve got the whole cast for 600 bucks and a bottle of Skyy. They wouldn’t have even had to spring for the Grey Goose.

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