REVISITED: Have to tread carefully here. You see, I’m not a huge fan of Bob Dylan, who’s playing Mandalay Bay on Oct. 27 with Mark Knopfler opening ($69-$143). But I don’t mean to say that I’m not a fan at all: I like many of Dylan’s songs, and my respect for his songwriting and performing talents is genuine and true. But I’m not half the fan some of my friends are, and “real” Dylan fans think their alpha singer-songwriter is above reproach. Even when Dylan’s bad, they tell me, he’s brilliant. I’ve seen him perform once and he was what I expected—likeable, but seemingly shambolic, with a voice that—as The New York Times’ Jon Pareles wrote in a review of a Sept. 4 show –“sounds impossibly ramshackle, just a fogbound rasp.” (Pareles added, “But soon, at least on a good night, his willful phrasing and conversational nuances come through.”) Maybe I do need to see him again to “get” him, but I’m not that interested in doing so. If you’re interested, you must be a real Dylan fan, and I truly hope he gives you a good show.
DON’T GET IN THE RING: Here are five surefire ways to get thrown out of a show by Guns N’ Roses, whose 12-show residency at The Joint begins Oct. 31 ($41-$111), and will probably end as soon as Axl Rose reads this. 1.) Wear a top hat. 2.) Yell out “Hey, David Crosby! Looking good, my man,” when Axl is within earshot. 3.) Demand a free Dr Pepper from the merchandise table. 4.) “Play some dubstep, you weenies!” 5.) Simply make eye contact with Axl. Avoid these trouble spots and you should be fine. Unless something else happens.
HOT HOLIDAY: The Red Hot Chili Peppers are coming to the Chelsea at the Cosmopolitan on Dec. 31 ($183). The show is sold out, but you can probably find tickets on a little something called the Internet. Here’s a fun fact: 2013 will be the band’s 30th year. It’s a long way from performing with tube socks on your dicks to headlining a Vegas casino on New Year’s Eve, and these guys have more than earned it.