Erotic revues seem tamer in porn-loving Vegas

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Raack N Roll’s Tracy Vietmeier.

Five tight asses stare straight at me, wriggling in rhythm. Swiveling around, they turn into 10 bouncy breasts. Covered—for now—but impressive nonetheless.

Career advice, kids: There are worse gigs than watching this for a living.

Inside Downtown’s D Las Vegas showroom, rehearsals are under way—lovely lasses writhing to the Osmonds’ “Crazy Horses” blasting over the speakers—as topless dance-athon Raack N Roll resurfaces. Despite a successful run last year at Hooters hotel-casino, it shuttered when the property converted its show space into a lounge. Producers Angela and Matt Stabile—whose carnal catalog includes X Burlesque and Men of X—are retooling rock-driven Raack, re-debuting February 1.

“Sexy girls and rock and roll go hand in hand. People are always looking for sexiness and fun,” Angela Stabile says. “I sit in the back sometimes and see an 85-year-old Asian woman or an old couple and think, ‘How did they decide to come?’ But I’m like, Thank you, God.”

After visiting a truckload of titillating teases—Shades of Temptation, iCandy Burlesque, X Burlesque, Peepshow, Crazy Girls, Fantasy—to determine the best-breast bets, one truth emerges even bigger than Coco Austin’s assets: In 2013 Vegas, topless parades are so … quaint. Retro. Sweetly innocent, in a double-D way. Probably not the description practitioners expect, but consider their niche in our current culture.

Although we’re not ground zero for porn—that honor belongs to California’s San Fernando Valley, where the majority of it is produced—we’re certainly ground one. Porn princesses prance across our cityscape almost weekly, throwing bashes at clubs and making appearances, increasingly perceived as mainstream personalities (even without dating Charlie Sheen).

Numerous stars call Vegas home. After California voters last year approved a law requiring condom use in porn videos, many producers are expected to migrate to Las Vegas—already host to a significant slice of the porn biz—where they can again go commando. Climaxing our pornucopia, the annual AVN Awards ceremony brings the entire industry to town for an orgy of self-celebration.

Even a Vegas/porn-themed comedy—The Performers, starring Henry Winkler as a Ron Jeremy-ish character, and set at the AVNs—just opened on Broadway (to middling reviews).

Never before has Sin City been this sinful. Erotic revues? How PG-13-ish.

Occupying that space once belonging to Jubilee!—positively G-rated by comparison—Raack N Roll and sister skin shows have actually risen in class by virtue of society growing more crass. Via our public embrace of the porn aesthetic, Vegas reflects it back to America even more than California, where it plays out pretty quietly inside the homes and mansions in which it’s shot.

Back at the Raack rehearsal, off to the side of the stage for some show shtick is an x-ray-like boob-meter machine onto which the performers step. Film of different sets of breasts slides by on a screen in front of their chests until the ladies and the mammaries are a match, announced by a “ding! ding! ding!”

How downright … cute.

STRIP POSTSCRIPT: Oops, they’re talking again about a Britney Spears residency at Planet Hollywood. Prediction for best-selling gift-shop item: Britney Spears Crotchless Panties. Guaranteed to please the paparazzi in your life.

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