I’m trying hard to perfect my Bitchy Resting Face as I type this. I’m squeezing my eyebrows together just a tad, turning down the corners of my mouth ever so slightly, and yet, focusing on conveying a restfulness that says, I so don’t care.
I want my face to convey loathing and dismay, because I am writing a quick-hit here on the phenomenon of Bitchy Resting Face, which was born of Internet parody (see the YouTube video below), and yet I have just interviewed a perfectly nice, local plastic surgeon who does, in fact, treat the condition. A little Botox, a little Juvéderm, and a little more than a $1,000 later your resting face should be unbitchy for six to nine months, or until such time as your natural expression wrestles out of its chemical bondage.
“There’s been a lot of focus on expression procedures,” Las Vegas cosmetic surgeon Dr. George Alexander tells me. “It relieves that tired, frowning look that you get even when you don’t feel that way.”
Luckily, that tired, frowning look, which has now been identified in numerous, surely devastated, female celebs (poor Anna Paquin, we’re looking at you!), has one other known treatment: “Remember to smile,” says Dr. Alexander.
But I’ve recently been on the lookout for BRFs and the parody’s male counterpart, Resting Asshole Face (I don’t see a need for the gender division—same essential look). And what I’ve discovered, in my 10 to 11 minutes of solid research, is that I love BRFs. They’re so much more entertaining than a face that always remembers to smile, whether it wants to or not, as if the camera’s always on, which of course it is, which is all the more reason to give it that middle-finger scowl.