Brooklyn Bowl is readying for a March opening at Linq, the premiere spot for all sphere-related activity in Las Vegas–roll ’em at Brooklyn, ride in ’em on the High Roller.
The 32 lanes of bowling were a given–what with the name and all–but more notable is the concert lineup just announced. Gracing the 2,000-person performance space for the inaugural shows March 8 and 9 are Soulive. But that two-night amuse bouche of funk and jazz quickly gives way to The Roots March 14 (somehow finding time to do gigs outside of The Tonight Show) for one night before they’re joined by Elvis Costello for the next two, where they’ll drop the unstoppably great “Walk Us Uptown.”
Here are the highlights through August, ranked by how we imagine their bowling prowess to rate. The full list follows.
Dates: April 25-26, May 2-3
There is no way this band of anarchic gypsy punks keep it together long enough to finish a game before devolving into some kind of pitcher-of-Miller Lite/colorful scarf fight.
Dates: May 8-10
We feel like Dave Navarro would be a decent bowler (as long as there weren’t any porn stars nearby to distract him), but any talent he might have would be mitigated by Perry Farrell’s possibly trying to contact aliens, especially this close to Area 51.
The Avett Brothers
Dates: August 29-32
It’s a fairly pedestrian number, but slightly more notable than the 103 Mumford & Sons would put up.
Dates: March 20-22
Frontman John McCrea seems like the kind of guy who would spend a lot of years trying to learn how to hook a ball into the pocket, but can only occasionally pull it off. Possibly if he loosened up with a few beers beforehand.
Dates: May 1-3
There is no way years of slapping the bass impossibly fast hasn’t left Les Claypool with the kind of powerful fingers you really need to maintain ball control.
Black Label Society
Dates: June 5
On the other hand, raw whiskey-fueled power can take care of a lot of pins, even if your control isn’t that precise.
Dates: August 7
The kind of studious dedication it takes to meticulously program synthesizers and also shamelessly ape Daft Punk seems like it would pay off when trying to learn a proper approach to the lanes.
Dates: March 14, with Elvis Costello March 15-16
There is literally nothing Roots bandleader Questlove can’t do, and it seems like the addition of Elvis Costello could only make him more powerful. Unless a trenchant wit and cutting bitterness somehow diminishes one’s bowling skills. But that seems unlikely.
- March 8-9: Soulive with special guests
- March 14: The Roots
- March 15-16: Elvis Costello and The Roots
- March 19: Brett Dennen
- March 20-22: Cake
- March 20-22: Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe
- March 23: Local Natives
- March 26-29, April 2-5, 9-12: Galactic
- March 29-30: Lettuce
- April 5-6, 19-20: Robert Randolph & the Family Band
- April 10: Bonobo
- April 12: Big Gigantic
- April 14: The Naked and Famous / The 1975, with the White Lies
- April 15: The Green
- April 16-19: Trombone Shorty
- April 17: Chance the Rapper
- April 18-20: Phil Lesh & Friends
- April 20: The Infamous Stringdusters
- April 24-26: O.A.R.
- April 25-26, May 2-3: Gogol Bordello
- May 1-3: Primus
- May 5: Twenty One Pilots
- May 8-10: Jane’s Addiction performing “Nothing’s Shocking”
- May 22-25: Ivan Neville’s Dumpstaphunk & Soul Rebels Brass Band
- May 29-31: Tedeschi Trucks Band
- May 29-31: Soulive
- June 5: Black Label Society
- June 10-11: Thievery Corporation
- June 13-14: Steve Winwood
- August 7: Chromeo
- August 29-31: The Avett Brothers
- Coming soon: The String Cheese Incident