Decoding Guy Fieri

What the chef, TV personality and UNLV alum—who recently opened a Vegas restaurant—means when he says…

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One can only taste so much food on TV and maintain the ability to generate original remarks. After an unreasonable number of hours spent watching Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, we believe we’ve deciphered host Guy Fieri’s system of compliments—a language of love that, once cracked, offers insight into the thoughts percolating beneath those bleached locks. Behold: The Fieri-nheit Scale.

Rating Fieri Says Fieri Means
1 “Nice Job.” “Indeed, this is food.”
2 “Rich.” “This dish possesses much flavor, though I do not care to discern exactly what flavor that is.”
3 “Nuts.” “This is good in a way that confuses me.”
4 “On Point.” “In my mind, I see a Venn diagram of ‘things I have tasted’ and ‘things that are tasty.’ This falls perfectly in the middle.”
5 “Money.” “I understand that many people pay to eat such a delicacy as this. Were it not for my behind-the-scenes privileges, I too would do so.”
6 “Gangster.” “When I close my eyes, I picture this dish wearing backwards sunglasses and a sweat band, with bleached-blonde hair.”
7 “Killer.” “I do believe that I could consume so many of these that it may become harmful to my health.”
8 “Bank.” “This is not just ‘money,’ this is bank.”
9 “Outta Bounds.” “Any expectation I had of what food should taste like has been shattered. I will promptly depart on my ’67 Camaro and spread the gospel of this revelation back in California.”
10 [Nothing, a.k.a. “The Silent Walk-Off”] “This dish is worthy of highest praise. By heaven’s good graces, I shall remain quiet while the angels sing a hymn of appreciation. May the rightful king or queen of Flavor Town now assume the throne.”

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