You are going to be replaced. Not in the vague, generational sense that all of us are going to die and eventually be replaced by heavily tattooed, bearded professional ennui sufferers. But in the very real sense that soon, you are going to be, very suddenly, replaced.
Probably by robots.
Tao Group honcho Jason Strauss recently posted an Instagram video showing a drone delivering bottle service at Marquee Dayclub. For a mere $20,000 minimum buy and a day’s advance notice, a drone operator (not on site at Marquee—presumably sequestered away at Creech’s top secret Baller Bunkers) will deliver a bottle of bubbly. We have no idea what the appropriate method of tipping your drone is. Do you just put out some batteries on the table and nod at it, knowingly?
The drone delivery took place at about the same time as Floyd Mayweather’s Internet-breaking brawl with the rapper T.I. went down at the Fatburger on the Strip. Tangential to that story of T.I.’s unfailing hubris, though, was that Mayweather threw a birthday party for his 14-year-old daughter, Lyanna, at MGM Grand earlier on May 24.
Nicki Minaj was a guest at the party—according to TMZ; Mayweather shelled out $50,000 to have her show up for an hour and hang out. Apparently even birthday clowns are being replaced. Though you could save a considerable amount of money at your kid’s next birthday by hiring a clown, slapping a pink wig on and having her sing “Super Bass.”
Eva Longoria’s star-crossed SHe at Crystals, the steakhouse for ladies, shuttered abruptly May 24. The restaurant, which opened February 2013, originally operated as the Beso steakhouse and Eve Nightclub until July 2011. A conflict with management led Longoria to shutter Beso/Eve before it would eventually open under Morton’s auspices less than two years later. (Morton’s, in turn, is owned by Landry’s.) In the restaurant’s new incarnation as SHe, there was a nightclub component, but it didn’t last long. The club closed down to become a special-events space after only a couple weeks of operation. Jonathan Fine, owner of PBR Rock Bar at the Miracle Mile Shops and Rockhouse at the Palazzo, is said to have made an offer on the space. Employees, meanwhile, were offered positions at other Landry’s properties around Las Vegas, including Morton’s and Golden Nugget restaurants.
The very foundations of our nightlife system could be upended by a new paradigm. After the May 30 Backstreet Boys show at Planet Hollywood, the Boys brought their after-party to Chateau at Paris, where Nick Carter jumped in the DJ booth to spin some EDM. And really, who needs to spend six figures on Avicii when you can get a ’90s boybander to play the same tunes? Because when it comes right down to it, how good is Avicii at tight choreography with four other dudes? Not that good, we’re willing to bet. Advantage, Carter.
Finally, rumor has it the Quad (née Imperial Palace) is already up for a potential name change. But it seems like it would be a missed opportunity to back out on the “Q” cachet at the Linq. The Querulous? The Quinine? Come on, Caesars, let’s go obscure with this. The Quinquereme? That’s a Roman galley with five oars. Think of the branding opportunities.
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