Weekend Kombat: Kid Rock vs. Billy Joel

Kick of red, punch of white.

Kick of red, punch of white.

Everybody has hard choices to make about how they’re going to spend their weekend. Some choices are harder than others. This week’s showdown: The north’s greatest cowboy rap-rocker vs. Long Island’s greatest lounge singer made good. FIGHT!

Kid Rock Billy Joel
What: The pride of Detroit, once you get past The White Stripes, Ford, Eminem and crippling economic ruin. The pride of Long Island, which is a sad state of affairs in and of itself. Advantage: Joel.
When/where: Boulevard Pool, Friday and Saturday. MGM Grand Garden Arena, Saturday. Advantage: Rock.
Notable boats: A yacht with a flag sayin’ “Chillin’ the most,” then rock that bitch up and down the coast.” The Downeaster Alexa. Advantage: Rock. Way to make a crappier boat song than “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” Billy.
Notable love interest: Pamela Anderson. Christie Brinkley. Advantage: Joel. A post-Tommy Lee Pam Anderson is a tough assignment to draw.
Fanbase: Reformed Limp Bizkit fans, hockey arena PA operators, people too good for Papa Roach. Your dad, your dad’s friends, dueling piano performers. Advantage: Push.
Inexplicable identity pivot: Soulful country boy/Sheryl Crow collaborator. Classical music composer/drunk driving enthusiast. Advantage: Joel, if only because it gave us Horatio Sanz’s best skit.

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