Everybody has hard choices to make about how they’re going to spend their weekend. Some choices are harder than others. This week’s showdown: The north’s greatest cowboy rap-rocker vs. Long Island’s greatest lounge singer made good. FIGHT!
|Kid Rock||Billy Joel|
|What:||The pride of Detroit, once you get past The White Stripes, Ford, Eminem and crippling economic ruin.||The pride of Long Island, which is a sad state of affairs in and of itself.||Advantage: Joel.|
|When/where:||Boulevard Pool, Friday and Saturday.||MGM Grand Garden Arena, Saturday.||Advantage: Rock.|
|Notable boats:||A yacht with a flag sayin’ “Chillin’ the most,” then rock that bitch up and down the coast.”||The Downeaster Alexa.||Advantage: Rock. Way to make a crappier boat song than “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” Billy.|
|Notable love interest:||Pamela Anderson.||Christie Brinkley.||Advantage: Joel. A post-Tommy Lee Pam Anderson is a tough assignment to draw.|
|Fanbase:||Reformed Limp Bizkit fans, hockey arena PA operators, people too good for Papa Roach.||Your dad, your dad’s friends, dueling piano performers.||Advantage: Push.|
|Inexplicable identity pivot:||Soulful country boy/Sheryl Crow collaborator.||Classical music composer/drunk driving enthusiast.||Advantage: Joel, if only because it gave us Horatio Sanz’s best skit.|