Right now the rest of the country is settling into its pumpkin-spice lattes and Halloween candy and—we don’t know, rake-store sales? They have rake stores where they have to deal with fall, right? Pretty sure that’s a thing.
Anyway, while the rest of the country gets it together for boot-and-coat weather, here in our endless summer (and not in the cool, surfing-movie way), we just spent an entire week celebrating the very ethos of summertime.
Not least of which came at the hands of the iHeartRadio Festival on September 19-20 at the MGM Grand Garden Arena. That self-congratulatory radio spectacle featured the two grande dames of the Song of the Summer: The presumptive champion Iggy Azalea, and the late-charging challenger Ariana Grande. Which we suppose makes her a better contender for grande dame. Get it? Do you? Do you get what we did there? Oh, wordplay is so much fun.
Both songstresses did extracurricular sets outside of the festival—Azalea at Drai’s on September 19, and Grande at 1 Oak on September 20. If Iggy could have waited one lousy day, she could have gone full-on “Problem,” as Grande performed with Big Sean that night. She might have one less problem without you, but that still leaves “scheduling conflicts” with the other 98.
What’s a summer without showing a little skin? Or, in Jennifer Lawrence’s case, showing a lot of skin to a bunch of skeezy hackers, and by extension, the entire skeezy Internet. Lawrence, who’s inexplicably dating Chris Martin from Coldplay despite the fact that she could have literally any other guy out there, up to and including dead-and-gay Charles Nelson Reilly, was backstage September 19 during rehearsal. She stuck around in the wings during the actual performance. After breaking up with Gwyneth Paltrow, Martin could have started dating a well-groomed Lhasa apso and it would’ve seemed like a huge upgrade. But he gets to go right to Mystique? There’s a reason we always hated Coldplay.
Also, nothing says summer like making impulsive decisions and romance that comes with an expiration date. Which we guess could describe the Chris Brown–Rihanna relationship. Technically. Breezy was at XS on September 19 with Usher to celebrate Jermaine Dupri’s birthday. And also to celebrate the fact that Ray Rice knocked him down to only the world’s second-most recognizable beater of women. One Direction’s Niall Horan, Schoolboy Q and Tommy Lee all were there for Dupri’s 42nd birthday.
The following night, Dupri, Brown and his off-again, doesn’t-get-the-hint-again girlfriend Karrueche Tran took the party to Tryst. That wasn’t enough to get the One Direction contingent to leave XS, as Horan and Zayn Malik partied over there with Ed Sheeran and Macklemore in what had to be the whitest night at the club since its ill-fated Gluten Free U2 and Pleated Khakis Party.
Macklemore even got up to do “Same Love” at the end of Lil Jon’s set. Which was, of course, supposed to be the Song of the Summer 2012, but was released before “Thrift Shop,” the Song of Early Fall 2012. Even though “Same Love” picked up steam slowly after its release, it wasn’t ready to unseat “Blurred Lines” for Song of the Summer 2013. It only got to be the Song of the Winter 2014 after the Grammys performance. Your timing is terrible, Macklemore.