Seeing Green: A St. Patrick’s Day Cheat Sheet

four-leaf-clover-152047_640Happy St. Paddy’s Day! Yes, you read that correctly; it’s spelled P-A-D-D-Y, not Patty. In Ireland, “Paddy” is short for Patrick. While we’re setting the record straight, contrary to popular belief, St. Patrick’s Day in Dublin is an epic party, and makes anywhere else feel like bingo night at Palace Station. Last year, during an 11-month trek around the world, I decided to make a pit stop in Ireland for St. Patrick’s Day. That day turned into one of the messiest drinking days of my life.

It began at noon in the Temple Bar area of Dublin. I kept pouring Guinness down my throat, but I drew the line at hard liquor. However, after my fifth pint of Guinness, I was ordering shots of Jameson for myself and any lad or lassie standing next to me, while yelling, “Woohoo! What happens in Ireland stays in Ireland!” So much for that.

Having taken this one for the U.S. team, I suggest you stick to these local St. Paddy’s hot spots:

⇐ Sip a $6 Baileys Irish Float during the St. Paddy’s Day bar burner at Made L.V. (450 S. Rampart Blvd., 5 p.m.,

⇐ Score a free T-shirt—plus Guinness in beef, brats and mugs—at Sean Patrick’s. (Multiple locations, 5 p.m.,

⇐ Compete in the Wear’n O’ the Green costume contest at Remedy’s, Elixir and Distill. (Multiple locations, 7 p.m.,

⇐ Cheer on your favorite half-naked firefighter at Commonwealth’s Men in Kilts charity competition. (525 Fremont St., 6 p.m.,

⇐ Get politically incorrect at Fremont Country Club’s Leprechaun Smackdown, a three-round fight between two competitors less than 5 feet tall. (601 Fremont St., 8 p.m.,

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