Photo by Erik Kabik

The Gazillionaire on Generosity, Getting Blindingly Drunk and 6 Years of Absinthe

It’s 10:30 a.m., and while most of the town is up and at ‘em, the crass and oftentimes wildly inappropriate host of Absinthe, The Gazillionaire, is just going to bed. The show celebrates its six-year anniversary this month, racking in a whopping 3,000-plus shows—a record for Caesars Palace where the show runs—with more than 1 million people catching the cabaret/circus/hilarity.

To celebrate the milestone, The Gazillionaire is being “pretty generous” and giving away a night at Caesars and tickets to the show. To enter, simply head Downtown to either Park on Fremont (506 Fremont St.) or Commonwealth (525 Fremont St.) and order the special Absinthe creations—the Fairly Green Fairy with rum, absinthe, pine juice, lime and grenadine/pomegranate syrup; or the Gazillionaire’s Mouthwash, which according to its namesake, is actually his mouthwash and made with cognac, absinthe, lemon juice, honey syrup and muddled strawberries. The contest runs through April 30. 

What goes on in the mind of the generous Gazillionaire as he celebrates such a milestone? Here’s the scoop.

What’s it like to be a Gazillionaire?

I’ve known no other life than this life of wealth and privilege, so it is hard to say how people like you live. It’s pretty good, the constant partying … I guess it gets old, but you take it one day at a time as they say. Step by step. It’s constant champagne and caviar for breakfast, lunch and dinner, so it’s not too bad.

What’s the best thing about Absinthe?

The best thing about the show is when it’s over, at the end of night, I’m counting all the money from the till. I get to hang out with beautiful people who are only there because I’m paying them to be around me …The money is the real kicker, the real thing that keeps me coming back.

How are you celebrating your six year anniversary?

Oh just the same—getting blindingly drunk at the end of every show. I usually come to somewhere on the confines of Sapphire with all my friends there. And, trying to avoid my assistant Wanda Widdles. I’m trying to keep her as far as away possible. It’s a project every day rolling that particular ball up the hill. More champagne, caviar, strippers … Many more things I will be doing that probably are considered lewd and obscene. Lets just say there are some very nice girls from Ukraine who don’t mind celebrating with me once a year.

Which of the two Absinthe cocktails at Park on Fremont and Commonwealth will get you drunk quicker?

The Gazillionaire Mouthwash. I think people think it’s ironic, but that’s actually true; it is my mouthwash. The Fairly Green Fairy will get you lit. Forget those yardstick-long drinks you wear around your neck looking like a douchebag. Just one little cup of this stuff and you are good to go for the whole night.

What’s your favorite thing about Vegas?

There are really good plastic surgeons in this town, so that’s the first thing. Second, there’s an endless stream of people willing to spend a lot of money on things like shows so guys like me can come in take advantage of that. It’s an endless stream of tourists willing to part with their money. What’s not to love?

Absinthe runs Wednesdays through Sundays at 8 and 10 p.m. inside the Spiegeltent at Caesars Palace. $99-$109.