We’re Sooo Over It

Pop Rocks

They’re totes adorbs atop sweets. But please keep that little black packet away from our Caterpillar Roll.

Cheeky Deviled Eggs & Celebrity Burgers

Everyone’s taken a pass. Next!

Food “Holidays”

If I don’t get a day off work for World Pasta Day or National Cupcake Week, then I’m not lifting a finger to celebrate these marketing ploys.

$12 Cold-Pressed Juice

We know what you paid for those apples and cucumbers…

Elvis-Inspired Food

Please let the King—and his odd taste in cuisine—rest. Preferably far away from your sandwich menu.

Impostor Poutine

Fries, brown gravy, cheese curds—done. Put your spin on it, sure, but go too far and things can quickly escalate from “O Canada” to “NO, Canada!”

Mason jars

Oh em gee, sooo cute, you guys! Now, let it go.

Exposed Ductwork

Is that a dust ball in my poutine?


I’m a grown-ass person. I want a whole plate of food to myself, please.